I love my new job. I'm only a cashier right now, but being surrounded by coffee is ... heavenly. And it's not like Whippi Dip. My new boss is actually NICE to me. He says thank you, he strikes up conversation, he doesn't gush about HIMSELF.
It's awesome. I'm going to work really hard, study the coffees and the how to's, and hopefully I will work my way up. Coming home smelling like coffee and tea and homemade soup is something I could definitely get used to.
Changing topics...
My new years resolution is to becoming happy with who I am. I mean, I'm pretty secure and all, the most secure I think I've ever been, but I want to be proud of who I am. I recently realized that I have a hard time accepting people's compliments. I know a lot of people have the same problem, but honestly, I cannot look someone in the eye and genuinely ACCEPT the nice thing they said to me. I'm also very insecure with the way I look, and yeah I'm pretty healthy, but not healthy enough. I'm going to exercise more, and start eating healthy, well-balanced meals. I want to feel good about myself.
I also realized something pretty big the other day. I try SO HARD to do everything, please everyone, be friends with everyone, get everything, and basically reach perfection. Obviously, I'm no where CLOSE to perfection.... but I want to be perfect. Lame? Yeah.
I keep trying to hold onto friendships that are basically nonexistent. I really value my relationships with people. But I feel like I have about 2 people who actually act like they give a damn.
I understand that not everyone has the time to hold onto a lot of important relationships... it's hard to be there for everyone and to balance time between everyone. But I'm just tired of trying SO hard.
Maybe I'm just not that great of a person to be around, or a good enough friend, whatever... I'm just over it. Honestly. It may sound pessimistic and sad, but really, I feel like maybe this is God telling me that I should stop investing all this effort into these things and refocus my attention toward what really matters. You know?
Anyway, this is me ranting, and I'm preeeetty sure no one reads this, but it's really okay.
Off topic again- I'm excited to go to Brazil this summer and prance around in flowy skirts and dresses.
Alright, I'm done!
Monday, January 7, 2008
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2 comments:
it seems like you're already starting this now, but here's the thing - once you get to college, you realize who your real friends were all the time. they're the people who really put forth effort to stay in touch.
i know we're not really good friends, and i feel sad about that. i wish i had put more effort into getting to know you before i moved away from you. you really are a great person, and i know what it's like not knowing how to accept compliments, but you really ought to just go look in the mirror, smile, and realize how much you light up a room.
i hope you have a beautiful new year :)
I read it. Duh.
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