"I had a curious It's a Wonderful Life-like compulsion to explore what my house, or my life, would look like without me in it."

Whenever things suck, I honestly want to get really really drunk and forget about everything. I'm reading the book Smashed right now, and I see qualities in the author that remind me of me in so many ways.
She turned to drinking all the time, but I rarely ever drink. But right now, I REALLY want to turn to the method she turned to. Getting smashed.

I'm sure I won't... but what else?
I just want to forget everything.